Spinning Tip - Version of Yourself

My mom died on Wednesday 05/20/2009 at 76 years of age. I am still not up and moving at 100%. I was talking to my husband a few days ago as he sat on the computer, barely glancing up at me " Something is off" I said. " I just don't feel right, something is wrong" I had already been home for 4 to 5 days from my looonnnngggg trip to Chicago and things were starting to fall into their everyday routines. I was moving around the kitchen getting dinner ready, unloading the dishwasher, listening to my music (always trying to find my next mix) and it just didn't feel right. " Something just doesn't feel right" I said again. My husband stopped working, looked up at me like I had a chicken on my head and said "Let's see, your mom just died, you made a decision regarding fostering of children, summer is here, your husband is working on running his own business, your worried about your sister, your sister may be coming down for a few weeks and Oh your mom just died." and then put his head down and went back to work. I guess he is right, it was right in front of me and I still can't get my head around it. I feel like I am underwater, moving through the motions but not quite being "there". I hate it. I hate not being present, I hate not being myself, one thing I AM NOT good at is faking it.
I have crossed over into another version of myself, every major life change has you re-adjust to the way you see things. This is my next chapter and I am very curious to where it will lead me. So forgive me for not posting a ride today, but I will as soon as I can.